I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize