I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize