do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
