is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i now understand why vodka
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
