How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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