If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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