Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
