my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
