I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
