Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She even gives head with a lisp.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize