Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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