Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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