Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
