wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize