What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize