That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
