I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
