Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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