Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up under a house in Key West
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
