help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
