i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
