Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
