Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize