marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just had sex on a roof
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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