you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
a search helicopter?!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
