Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
