so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
