playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
