What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
