Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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