im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
