spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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