Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
