After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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