doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
