Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
