Slut skills are useful in every country.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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