Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
