New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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