apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
