she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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