I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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