Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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