I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
No more Irish car bombs ever.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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