i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
