hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Boobs speak an international language.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize