your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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