Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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