I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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