So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
