i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
