Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
