Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
