Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
