Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
