He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
