I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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