i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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