If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
