living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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