Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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