So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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