i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
