You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
