8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
