is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
