Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
