Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
