How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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