i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize