i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
