sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
