seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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