dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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