Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
my liver is dry heaving
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
