my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
