I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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