i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
