shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
