I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
