new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize