There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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