508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want to have your abortion
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
