so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize