i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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